Get to Know: Becky De Oliveira

Article published at: Apr 9, 2024
Get to Know: Becky De Oliveira
All Know Her Stories

Becky De Oliveira is the owner of Blush and Bloom—a thriving flower and wedding studio in Toronto. We spoke to her about mom guilt, striking a balance between a busy work and home life, and the importance of taking time to nurture kindness and curiosity in her daughter Florence.   

Can you tell us about your postpartum journey?

I didn’t realize the level of postpartum care that I would need, so going back to work early hit me like a ton of bricks. As a business owner, I knew there would be a dramatic change, but I didn’t know exactly what that would be. I wasn’t equipped community-wise and support-wise to handle everything. That made things a little bit more challenging for someone who was used to coming and going as they pleased and working as much as needed. 

Have you surprised yourself with how you’ve managed to continue to successfully run your business and raise your daughter?

I think I surprised myself with my ability to realize that I needed to lean on the people I do have. They are willing and capable to help with a lot of the business side of things. Realizing that I have a team who are invested in my brand and invested in my success in business as well as being a mom was very important. 

It's really hard and a lot of work, but I'm very proud. We were thrilled when we found out we were becoming parents. But I never fully understood how motherhood affects the trajectory of things with business and life in general. I think we just didn't know what it all looked like for us. It's a wild thing in a demanding world. You’re used to giving a thousand percent of everything to your work. And now it's kind of like, okay, well, there are more important things. I really don't think I would have come to that realization if I didn’t have a baby. 

 

You’re used to giving a thousand percent of everything to your work. And now it's kind of like, okay, well, there are more important things.

What do you love most about Florence?

She knows what she wants. She knows what she likes and doesn't like, and she’s very kind. That’s something that we talk about a lot in our home, kindness. She really loves nature. She's just a very kind, helpful little girl. 

What advice would you give to future mothers who are entrepreneurs? 

To make sure they build their community and to not be afraid to accept help from their family or friends—even before the baby comes. Normalize the idea of asking for help, even if it's something small like: “Can you come over and talk to me during nap time so that I can have an adult conversation and make my life feel somewhat normal for a second?” 

 

Normalize the idea of asking for help, even if it's something small like: ‘Can you come over and talk to me during nap time so that I can have an adult conversation and make my life feel somewhat normal for a second?

If you're an employer, you want to keep making sure your team is doing a great job and feeling good because they’re such a valuable support system. You’re going to need to be able to relinquish some control in your life whether that’s with your business or with mom stuff. 

Do you ever tire of questions about what it’s like to balance being an entrepreneur and raising a child? It seems like moms would get asked that way more than dads.  

I do feel like it's harder in every way for female entrepreneurs as parents. Moms are often the primary caregivers, so adding the mental load of motherhood to entrepreneurship, it’s a lot. It's tough to feel like you’re thriving in all of those areas and to be constantly asked “How do you do it?” When you know that dads are probably not being asked the same questions. 

 

I do feel like it's harder in every way for female entrepreneurs as parents. Moms are often the primary caregivers, so adding the mental load of motherhood to entrepreneurship, it’s a lot.

Can you tell us a bit about your business? 

It’s called Blush and Bloom. We are a flower and wedding studio here in Toronto. I’ve been an owner of the business for 12 years now. And we've expanded to include a sister brand in floral education called Blue School. Flowers are all I know. So it just feels natural that this is what I'm doing and what I've always been doing. 

We do anywhere from 30 to 60 corporate events and weddings per year. On top of that we have the education and workshop aspects of the business, which are fully separate. So yeah, we're hopping most of the time.

Do you ever feel mom guilt? 

Yeah. 100%. My gosh. I work on weekends so I feel all-consuming mom guilt sometimes. Work definitely takes away from a lot of typical family time like summers at the park, or traveling. I'm learning to prioritize, take a step back from the business, and take a month off with my family to make sure we have time to make memories. It took me five years to be able to do that though.

But yeah, the guilt is still there. It’s almost like FOMO. But even if we can just go to the park or something, I love that. Florence gets to do all these really fun things with her dad during their time. So that's also really special. But it’s very hard because her dad gets evenings and weekends off and I’m working during that time, and I’m the owner. I make all the decisions so sometimes I need to answer my phone or be there for my team. But, yeah, mom guilt is real.  

 

I work on weekends so I feel all-consuming mom guilt sometimes.

What do you tell yourself in moments when you’re feeling guilty? 

I don't know if there's anything I tell myself, but it has gotten easier to deal with now that I’ve made sure I'm compensating in other ways. I've set a lot of boundaries to prioritize family. So now I'll tell myself, “You're leaving at five in the morning and missing out on taking Florence to her friend’s birthday party, but you’re going to be home to have dinner.” I also actively try to remind myself that this business might be around long enough that one day I can say to Florence: “Well, do you want this? If this is what you want to do, here you go.” 

What are some of the positive, joyful things that have come out of motherhood? 

I think I listen more and take more time to focus on slowing down. I try to see things through my child's eyes like flowers, nature, or cities. That’s really interesting. You have blinders on sometimes because you don't have time to focus on random stuff when you're busy. Kids can help you pay attention to the things that are new and important to them that maybe you haven’t thought about in a while. 

It's endearing to hear some of the questions they ask and how pure things can be at this age. That’s why it’s nice to take the time to give their questions a really good answer. That curiosity is so fun to watch. It’s really exciting. Yeah, I just love her. 

 

Kids can help you pay attention to the things that are new and important to them that maybe you haven’t thought about in a while.

By: Carter Selinger