Becky De Oliveira is the owner of Blush and Bloom—a thriving flower and wedding studio in Toronto. We spoke to her about mom guilt, striking a balance between a busy work and home life, and the importance of taking time to nurture kindness and curiosity in her daughter Florence.    Can you tell us about your postpartum journey? I didn’t realize the level of postpartum care that I would need, so going back to work early hit me like a ton of bricks. As a business owner, I knew there would be a dramatic change, but I didn’t know exactly what that would be. I wasn’t equipped community-wise and support-wise to handle everything. That made things a little bit more challenging for someone who was used to coming and going as they pleased and working as much as needed.  Have you surprised yourself with how you’ve managed to continue to successfully run your business and raise your daughter? I think I surprised myself with my ability to realize that I needed to lean on the people I do have. They are willing and capable to help with a lot of the business side of things. Realizing that I have a team who are invested in my brand and invested in my success in business as well as being a mom was very important.  It's really hard and a lot of work, but I'm very proud. We were thrilled when we found out we were becoming parents. But I never fully understood how motherhood affects the trajectory of things with business and life in general. I think we just didn't know what it all looked like for us. It's a wild thing in a demanding world. You’re used to giving a thousand percent of everything to your work. And now it's kind of like, okay, well, there are more important things. I really don't think I would have come to that realization if I didn’t have a baby.    You’re used to giving a thousand percent of everything to your work. And now it's kind of like, okay, well, there are more important things. What do you love most about Florence? She knows what she wants. She knows what she likes and doesn't like, and she’s very kind. That’s something that we talk about a lot in our home, kindness. She really loves nature. She's just a very kind, helpful little girl.  What advice would you give to future mothers who are entrepreneurs?  To make sure they build their community and to not be afraid to accept help from their family or friends—even before the baby comes. Normalize the idea of asking for help, even if it's something small like: “Can you come over and talk to me during nap time so that I can have an adult conversation and make my life feel somewhat normal for a second?”    Normalize the idea of asking for help, even if it's something small like: ‘Can you come over and talk to me during nap time so that I can have an adult conversation and make my life feel somewhat normal for a second? If you're an employer, you want to keep making sure your team is doing a great job and feeling good because they’re such a valuable support system. You’re going to need to be able to relinquish some control in your life whether that’s with your business or with mom stuff.  Do you ever tire of questions about what it’s like to balance being an entrepreneur and raising a child? It seems like moms would get asked that way more than dads.   I do feel like it's harder in every way for female entrepreneurs as parents. Moms are often the primary caregivers, so adding the mental load of motherhood to entrepreneurship, it’s a lot. It's tough to feel like you’re thriving in all of those areas and to be constantly asked “How do you do it?” When you know that dads are probably not being asked the same questions.    I do feel like it's harder in every way for female entrepreneurs as parents. Moms are often the primary caregivers, so adding the mental load of motherhood to entrepreneurship, it’s a lot. Can you tell us a bit about your business?  It’s called Blush and Bloom. We are a flower and wedding studio here in Toronto. I’ve been an owner of the business for 12 years now. And we've expanded to include a sister brand in floral education called Blue School. Flowers are all I know. So it just feels natural that this is what I'm doing and what I've always been doing.  We do anywhere from 30 to 60 corporate events and weddings per year. On top of that we have the education and workshop aspects of the business, which are fully separate. So yeah, we're hopping most of the time. Do you ever feel mom guilt?  Yeah. 100%. My gosh. I work on weekends so I feel all-consuming mom guilt sometimes. Work definitely takes away from a lot of typical family time like summers at the park, or traveling. I'm learning to prioritize, take a step back from the business, and take a month off with my family to make sure we have time to make memories. It took me five years to be able to do that though. But yeah, the guilt is still there. It’s almost like FOMO. But even if we can just go to the park or something, I love that. Florence gets to do all these really fun things with her dad during their time. So that's also really special. But it’s very hard because her dad gets evenings and weekends off and I’m working during that time, and I’m the owner. I make all the decisions so sometimes I need to answer my phone or be there for my team. But, yeah, mom guilt is real.     I work on weekends so I feel all-consuming mom guilt sometimes. What do you tell yourself in moments when you’re feeling guilty?  I don't know if there's anything I tell myself, but it has gotten easier to deal with now that I’ve made sure I'm compensating in other ways. I've set a lot of boundaries to prioritize family. So now I'll tell myself, “You're leaving at five in the morning and missing out on taking Florence to her friend’s birthday party, but you’re going to be home to have dinner.” I also actively try to remind myself that this business might be around long enough that one day I can say to Florence: “Well, do you want this? If this is what you want to do, here you go.”  What are some of the positive, joyful things that have come out of motherhood?  I think I listen more and take more time to focus on slowing down. I try to see things through my child's eyes like flowers, nature, or cities. That’s really interesting. You have blinders on sometimes because you don't have time to focus on random stuff when you're busy. Kids can help you pay attention to the things that are new and important to them that maybe you haven’t thought about in a while.  It's endearing to hear some of the questions they ask and how pure things can be at this age. That’s why it’s nice to take the time to give their questions a really good answer. That curiosity is so fun to watch. It’s really exciting. Yeah, I just love her.    Kids can help you pay attention to the things that are new and important to them that maybe you haven’t thought about in a while. By: Carter Selinger

We spoke with Lesley Billingsley about raising her two children, Savannah and Luther, as a stay-at-home mom. Lesley chatted to us about the challenges, discoveries, and joys of motherhood. She also shared a few of the unlikely lessons her children have taught her along the way. Let’s get to know her.   What do you love most about your children? It’s something different for each of them. Savannah is so caring and compassionate. She's always making sure everyone's okay. She's really sensitive and emotional. I love that about her.  Luther is a ball of energy. He is, as my cousin likes to say, real-life funny. He's not little-kid funny. He's funny across the board. He keeps us laughing. I was trying to figure out our love languages one day. Like Savannah's is definitely physical touch. I think mine is acts of service. I was trying to think of what Luther's was and he just announced: “I know what mine is. Mine is tuna.”  What have you discovered about yourself since becoming a mother? I've discovered that every day can be a new day. So whether you have a great adventure with your children or if you make a mistake, you start over. You wake up in the morning, you leave yesterday behind you, and you just start fresh and try to do the best you can for yourself and your children.    You wake up in the morning, you leave yesterday behind you, and you just start fresh and try to do the best you can for yourself and your children. What have your children taught you? I think Savannah taught me that you don't have to be perfect. You can make mistakes and you can try again. I liked things done a certain way before kids, but now I'm more flexible and lenient. Luther taught me that there's no exact timing for everything, and everything is worth the wait. When Luther was 18 months old, he wasn’t talking. We had to go into speech therapy. We were really worried. But now he’s saying his love language is tuna. So I guess when the time is right, the time is right.    I think Savannah taught me that you don't have to be perfect. You can make mistakes and you can try again. Luther taught me that there's no exact timing for everything, and everything is worth the wait. What's the most challenging part of motherhood? Not really knowing what to do. There's no textbook. Even if you talk to all the mothers in the world, it will never fully prepare you. So I think the most challenging part is not having a way to quantify if what you're doing is right or wrong. And you really won't know how you’ve done until way down the road when your kids grow up. Have you ever faced any judgment or adversity as a stay-at-home mom? I’ve realized I'm very privileged to be in a position where my partner can go to work and provide for us while I’m at home taking care of the children. Some people I meet say they wish they could be in my position so they could’ve had more time with their kids. And then other people kind of turn up their noses at me. I get comments like: “When are you going to get a real job?” “What do you do all day?” “When are you going back to work?” I'm always like, “I am working. It's just a different form of work.” Motherhood is 24/7 and you don't get paid.  Those kinds of questions come from well-intentioned people like friends and family, too. They're not trying to judge me at all. They’re just like “Hey, you used to have this job. Are you ever going to go back to it?” They’re just curious. But sometimes it can hurt a little bit. I've been a stay-at-home parent since Savannah was born eight years ago. When she went to kindergarten, I went back to work for a few months, but basically, I've been home with the kids 24/7 for eight years. In September Luther’s starting kindergarten so I'm going to be entering a brand new phase of my motherhood journey. It's scary, it's exciting, it’s unknown. I don't know what it's going to look like for me. My priority is getting Luther thriving and doing his thing in kindergarten, and then I'll see what things look like for me.   Luther’s starting kindergarten so I'm going to be entering a brand new phase of my motherhood journey. It's scary, it's exciting, it’s unknown. Do you have any advice for new moms? Just soak it up. You can get all the baby cuddles. I remember when both the kids were really small, people would say, “You're always picking them up. They're not going to know how to use their legs.” But I just wanted to get in as much time with them as possible because I knew how quickly they go through those phases. My advice to new moms is to just enjoy those moments without feeling guilty.    My advice to new moms is to just enjoy those moments without feeling guilty. By: Carter Selinger

Natalie Spooner knows how to pump herself up. Whether it's telling herself she’s unstoppable or pumping breast milk for her baby in between periods of a professional hockey game, there doesn’t seem to be anything that can slow her down. It’s that kind of energy that makes her such a force on and off the ice and an integral part of helping get the PWHL to where it is now. Let’s get to know her.        Has hockey helped you affirm or realize any aspects of your identity or personality? I started playing hockey at four years old so it's always been a part of my life, and it’s taught me a lot about hard work, perseverance, and dedication. I don't think I would be the person I am without this sport. A lot of my personality has probably come from the energy I get from the teammates I’ve always been surrounded by. The best thing about being on a team is how much fun you have with your teammates. I think that has played a big role in shaping who I am.   I started playing hockey at four years old so it's always been a part of my life, and it’s taught me a lot about hard work, perseverance, and dedication. Why do you think it's important for women and girls to stay in sports? Teamwork, dedication, hard work, and time management—there are so many skills you learn through sports that I think everyone uses in their daily lives. It's so important for girls to have those experiences. For me, sports were always a great release. I’ve always felt free on the ice and just had so much fun playing. There's a lot of stress in the world, so why not go out, play a game, and have a lot of fun? Do you have any advice for young girls that are playing sports?  Believe in yourself. I think that that's the main thing. If I could go back, I would tell my little self to believe in myself and to know that you can achieve your dreams.  The other thing is that sports should be about having fun. I still remind myself every day to go back to thinking like that little girl who had so much fun playing hockey. That's what it's all about. So as long as you love what you're doing and having fun, it doesn’t feel like work. It's just fun. What do you think the development of the PWHL means for young women and hockey in general?  It means a lot. Not only are we able to have a career playing hockey, but all of those little girls who watch us get to have the dream of playing professional women's hockey, just like any little boy would have.  Is there anything that you wish non-athletes realized about professional women's hockey? I wish people knew more about all the amazing ladies that I get to play with and against. Before we had this professional league, there were ladies from all different walks of life: teachers, chiropractors, firefighters, police officers. Some women had full-time jobs and they would come and play hockey at night and be on the road all weekend.  This is the first year we’ve had a professional women's hockey league and we're able to make it into a career and have a salary. A lot of the ladies don't have to have side jobs or other careers now, and I think that’s amazing. It's going to help take women's hockey to the next level because everyone can focus on hockey and not have to worry about where their next paycheck is coming from.   This is the first year we’ve had a professional women's hockey league and we're able to make it into a career and have a salary. What was your involvement in getting the PWHL started? So in 2019, the CWL folded and we decided to come together, all the female hockey players, to create the PWHPA Players Association, and we ended up going on a Dream Gap tour. We played all across North America in all different rinks, and it was a great way to show there was a market for women's hockey.   From there we were lucky enough to get icons like Billie Jean King behind us. She’s one of the main people giving money. I don't think we could have gotten to where we are now without people like Billie Jean, Stan Kasten of the LA Dodgers, and Dana Halford. All of them really believed in the vision and we're just so lucky for their support. What it was like to become a mother as a professional athlete? It takes quite a bit of planning to start a family and then come back to sport. I had to time my pregnancy. So after the 2022 Beijing Olympics, we wanted to start a family, but I had set a goal I wanted to be back playing in the next world championships. Luckily, I got pregnant right away, and it all kind of went smoothly and I was able to achieve that goal. But it also meant that while I was playing hockey, I was still breastfeeding. So you were playing at this high level while you were still breastfeeding? Can you tell us about that? It was definitely a challenge. The time commitment that breastfeeding takes was one of the things that surprised me most about being a mom. I was able to bring him with me to most of the places I went because my mom would come along, too. But being away from him for games and practices, I had to get really good at being able to pump in the locker room or between periods. I had some pretty discrete pumps that I could just slip on in the locker room with the girls. I thought it was super funny when my teammates would look over and I’d be there pumping, and then either sending milk up or putting it in the fridge for after the game. When you're a high-performance athlete, you're trying to power through and so forth. Maintaining your milk and making sure you're drinking enough and eating enough was a struggle. During the world championships, we were in some pretty intense games. So that was hard, but I was able to make it through.    Being away from [my son] for games and practices, I had to get really good at being able to pump in the locker room or between periods. You were back playing hockey four months after you gave birth. What are some of the things that you didn't anticipate would impact your career as a professional athlete? I came back four months postpartum to play my first hockey game in the PWHPA to give myself a chance to get ready for the World Championships, which were around the five-month mark. There were so many unknowns going into pregnancy and training afterwards. I don't think I realized how much my body changed because it happened so slowly.   I came back four months postpartum to play my first hockey game in the PWHPA to give myself a chance to get ready for the World Championships. You kept skating until you were 36 weeks pregnant—what was that like? I just loved getting out on the ice and I think the rink was where I felt the most normal, before and after giving birth. It felt like some type of normalcy to go out there and get back to being with my teammates. Life as a new mom can be quite isolating, so to have my teammates around me again was really freeing and so much fun. It made me feel like myself again. How did you deal with the hunger, exhaustion, and sleep deprivation that pregnancy can cause?  So I found when I was breastfeeding, I was definitely eating way more every time I woke up in the night to feed. I also drank excessive amounts of water. Even when I was pregnant, I was so thirsty. I don't think I've felt that type of thirst before, but I just had to make sure I was eating whenever I was hungry and fueling my body. Is there anything else you want to share about your experience becoming a mom and having a career as a professional athlete? Were there any emotional impacts or unexpected challenges? When I became a mom, I did feel my priorities shift. Before, my whole life was built around hockey. And I would say I was a very selfish person in a sense. I was so committed to my training and that was really all that mattered. And then I had this baby that needed me and that I had to care for. When I would have to go away for games and bring him with me, my mom would come, but I still felt this sense of guilt when I was leaving him to go on the ice. At the same time, I knew this was what I needed.  So there was some learning to do there and some new balances to find between my love for hockey and my love for my baby. My baby takes priority, but I was able to find a pretty good balance between being a mom and coming back to play the sport I love. If you’re having a challenging time or need a confidence boost or something like that, are there any things you say to yourself? I tell myself to be unstoppable, and I just picture myself being so dominant. I literally just tell myself “Be unstoppable.”  We noticed you like to play in your Sparkle Balls™ and other H&B jewelry. Why do you find yourself drawn to it?  I remember when I got my first pair of Sparkle Balls™, I just loved the way I felt in them. It’s the same way now with my pearl Sparkle Balls™—I just feel really good whenever I wear them. They're my go-to's, and I have to wear the biggest ones.   I remember when I got my first pair of Sparkle Balls™️, I just loved the way I felt in them. Do you have any advice for women in general?  My advice for women would be to chase your dreams. No matter what. I can't say it's going to be easy. It's probably going to be difficult and there's going to be lots of twists and turns. But in the end, it's definitely worth it. You'll remember the journey more than the destination.    Chase your dreams. No matter what. By: Carter Selinger